What are we Hoping for?

I’ve moved on from treatment to the recovery phase. Hospital visits are reduced to a weekly blood test and an occasional scan. But recovery seems painfully slow and erratic with good days followed by not so good days. Only when you look back a few weeks can you see that there has been significant progress. If I’m honest these circumstances leave me frustrated and longing for the day when fatigue and weariness will be a thing of the past.

We may face different challenges but many of us are in a hurry to move onto the next stage of life. Our hope may be to get to a place of financial security. Or we may work for a difficult boss with little room for manoeuvre. Alternatively we may be at that stage of life where we simply long to be free from the constraints of work, family, church life and other demands. For many the promised land of retirement seems to beckon as the solution to our struggles. And yet most of us have learned to be wary of over inflated expectations. We live in a world full of many ‘unknowns’

REAL ANSWERS FOR A THOSE LIVING IN A BROKEN WORLD

The Bible offers a different perspective on our lives. Its starting point is a pretty devastating assessment: the problem is not in our circumstances but in ourselves. But it doesn’t stop there. We are not short of people offering diagnosis. The Bible provides great answers for struggling people. Psalm 119 is the song or prayer of a believer who knows all about the down side of life. It is though a treasure chest of wisdom on how to navigate this broken world of ours. I’ve been reading Christopher Ash’s commentary alongside the psalm and most of these insights, drawn from the 6th section (41-48) are his.

SECURITY

In a world full of uncertainty around the cost of living, war, the death of the queen, new political leadership, life can have a very insecure feel to it. The psalm is punctuated with plenty to unsettle a person: the psalmist describes himself as ‘laid low in the dust’ (25) His soul is ‘weary with sorrow’. (28) He is aware of those who are taunting him (42). His secret is not to try to construct his own safety net but to look to God. The section begins: “May your unfailing love come to me, Lord, your salvation according to your promise.” (41). Unfailing love or steadfast love is a consequence of God’s covenant, the gracious promise to bless Abraham and his descendants. It comes without introduction or explanation. It is an act of pure grace. The God who cannot lie is promising to steadfastly love this family, come what may. The rest of the bible charts the progress of this promise as it unfolds through the centuries. It reaches its high point in Paul’s words announcing “…the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ” Those who choose to believe Gods covenant promise are described as his chosen, adopted, redeemed and informed people. And all of it determined ‘before the creation of the world’. This is a very secure place to centre your life.

STABILITY

One of the surprising things as you read this psalm is despite the psalmist’s pressures and opposition he doesn’t ask God to change his circumstances. The verse just referred to: ‘My soul is weary with sorrow’ finishes ‘strengthen me according to your word.’ He prays for internal strength, strong conviction. He appreciates the real danger lies not in the strength of his enemies but in his own inclination to compromise. It is the reliable truth of God’s word that can put steal into our souls so that we won’t be at the mercy of the cunning and craftiness of men.

FREEDOM

Its easy to imagine that the Christian life, closely aligned with God’s word can feel suffocating. Everything looks as though it’s lived on a very narrow band width. It comes as a surprise to hear this person say: “I will walk about in freedom for I have sought out your precepts” (45) Alternative translations of the word ‘freedom’ use the phrase ‘wide place’. The freedom the Bible is interested in is to forgive and to go on forgiving, to live without being eaten up by resentment, to bear up under pressure. Christian freedom promotes a generosity of life. It’s a great psalm and well worth investing in. Here is the little section I’ve mostly referred to.

Waw

41 May your unfailing love come to me, Lord,

your salvation, according to your promise;

42 then I can answer anyone who taunts me,

for I trust in your word.

43 Never take your word of truth from my mouth,

for I have put my hope in your laws.

44 I will always obey your law,

for ever and ever.

45 I will walk about in freedom,

for I have sought out your precepts.

46 I will speak of your statutes before kings

and will not be put to shame,

47 for I delight in your commands

because I love them.

48 I reach out for your commands, which I love,

that I may meditate on your decrees.

Gold Refined in the Fire

In my prayer diary, at the top of each day, I’ve written a verse of Scripture. Some are promises, some prayers and some commands. I remember reading Revelation 3 and being struck by the gracious invitation of the Lord Jesus to his lukewarm church: “I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so that you can become rich; and white clothes to wear so that you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so that you can see.” (Rev 3:18) So these words became part of my regular praying. Only slowly did it dawn on me the characteristic of this precious gift. Refined gold, gold that had been in the crucible, gold that had been tested. To the laid back, easy going Laodiceans Jesus was inviting them into the school of suffering.

THE UN-BURNING BUSH

The Bible never allows us to ignore the vast gulf between God and ourselves. We are dust and our lives are subject to a host of needs: sleep, food, sabbath rest, other people. God sits above all those things. Moses met God at the burning bush that required no external fuel to maintain its flames. My life is dependent on so many other factors, God is complete in himself. His ways are not our ways, his thoughts are not like ours. Nothing makes that clearer than the arrival of the Son of God

THE SON OF GOD’S CLASSROOM

When the Lord Jesus enters our world he does so clothed with our humanity. He who in his exalted state spoke those words of invitation to this lukewarm church modelled in his earthly life the route into true riches. The letter to the Hebrews sums it up like this: ‘Son though he was he learned obedience from what he suffered’ (Heb 5:8) Jesus suffering was never disciplinary and his obedience at each stage complete. But suffering in all its varied forms (temptations, rejection, betrayal, crucifixion) was his classroom and there he learned that the way of obedience is the way of safety and wisdom.

CHOICES

It doesn’t have to be this way. We live in a dangerous world eager to sell us a pile of fool’s gold. We have choices to make. The previous verse in Hebrews refers to Jesus ‘reverent submission’ to the mission God had called him to. Despite the darkness, the set backs, the apparent failure of the entire project he trusted his heavenly Father as all wise and all loving. Jonah by contrast had a small view of Gods wisdom. In his view he was far too easily taken in by a snip of sackcloth and few crocodile tears. You will not trust a God like this for long.

THE ROUTE TO TRUE BEAUTY AND RICHES.

Jesus warns us not to think we can second guess the ways of God. He teaches us not to despise suffering as some unwelcome intruder sent to spoil our lives. He assures us of the wisdom of living in obedience to Gods unpopular ways. Christian marriage falls into that category. Many marriage services have abandoned the word ‘submission’ because it is deemed too offensive to todays ‘wives’. And whilst there are men who demand the crown and ignore the call to sacrificial care of their wives thus disqualifying themselves there remains a call to submit. And Jesus encourages us to see that as the route to his Fathers blessing, they way to secure authentic riches.

From the Belly of the Great Fish.

Had I been writing this a week or so ago I might have been tempted to call it from ‘The Belly of the Great Fish’. I don’t come near sharing all the horrors of Jonah’s plight but there are similarities. The combination of heavy duty chemo and stem cell transplant leaves you feeling helpless, weak, ill and being told ‘it will probably get worse before it gets better’. Most of us have a vaccine history. I’ve had four Covid jabs and a host of childhood vaccines. Not any more. Everything is wiped from the system. Taste and appetite take a big hit.

THE ‘BIG PICTURE’

Perspective though, is a great thing. The simple fact is whether it’s Jonah’s fish or my treatment these things are life lines to dying people. Without them we would be gone. One of the doctors said to me “You are a member of a very exclusive club”. He was emphasising that people of my age are not normally offered this treatment. It’s important on the ‘down days’ to remember what precisely I have been receiving.

KNOWING WHERE TO GO

The big lesson is appreciating just how totally our lives depend on God for absolutely everything. There is a verse in Ecclesiastes : God gives some people wealth, possessions and honour, so they lack nothing their heart desires, but God does not give them the ability to enjoy them….. (Ecc 6:2) God is the giver of all good gifts including the ability to enjoy them. Knowing this helps. As I struggle with taste and eating I can approach my heavenly Father and ask Him to restore some measure of enjoyment. As I struggle with weakness similarly he is accessible to my request for strength.

SPOTTING THE REAL DANGER.

I’m glad to say things have improved. My appetite is improving and sickness is being kept a bay. I am able most days to go for short walks. Its been good to reconnect with family over the past week. But all this comes with a warning. Jonah’s troubles started once free from his prison. The tragedy of Jonah is he reluctantly returns to the service of God but fails to appreciate his own need of the grace of God. He remains at odds with God’s ways.

Whether we have had a life-threatening illness or not we are those who through no merit of our own have been thrown a life line in the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus. It ought to sensitize me to the needs of others. Life’s schoolroom is meant to lead to lasting change not least to use what time remains in the service of others.

Thank You

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us over the past week. The Lord has heard and answered many of your requests. My chemo week was full of long days and much tiredness but I was able to avoid nausea and vomiting through good anti sickness medication. The stem cell transplant is the highpoint of the whole process. Strangely it turns out to be a bit of an anti-climax. Five bags of what looks like strawberry juice are produced from a large churn where they have been stored at -180C. These are then defrosted and infused into your blood stream. It takes around 45 minutes.

SIDE EFFECTS

Yesterday, the day after the transplant was a low point but today seems better. So far the main side effect has not troubled me but been an issue for Margaret. Although the patient is unaware, stem cell treatment causes you to give off an odour (its likened to the smell of sweetcorn). Not everyone likes sweetcorn and on Thursday night Margaret was forced to abandon our bed because of the stench coming from her husband!

SPACE OR SEA?

I’ve been reading Matthew’s gospel this week. Chapter 14 describes Jesus walking on the storm as he makes his way to his struggling disciples. Hollywood regards space as the region where the trouble comes from. In the Bible the sea is a picture of restless evil and chaos. It’s the realm of Leviathan. Its where 4 beasts in Daniel emerge from. The new creation is without any sea. The sight of Jesus walking on the storm is a reminder that there is someone to whom all this evil and chaos must answer.

TIME TO RECONSIDER?

When Jesus arrives at his disciples he is met by Peter requesting that he be invited to step out the boat and walk on the water. At first all goes well but then we read: But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink cried out “Lord save me!” Presumably the wind was blowing when he got out the boat. Peter’s problem was once settling in his mind that Jesus could enable him he decided he had to re-evaluate the situation. It’s a simple lesson for all of us. Once we have concluded that Jesus is the almighty Saviour who treads evil under foot, who always knows where his people are and who can come to their aid at any time it is folly to reconsider that conviction.

MOVE IN THE OTHER DIRECTION

Whatever your circumstances, ill health, financial difficulty, fears for our children, anxiety over work the lesson is don’t let these things re-evaluate your decision to follow Jesus. Rather allow them to push you in the other direction, praying, trusting, learning from the Lord Jesus Himself.

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