Thank You

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us over the past week. The Lord has heard and answered many of your requests. My chemo week was full of long days and much tiredness but I was able to avoid nausea and vomiting through good anti sickness medication. The stem cell transplant is the highpoint of the whole process. Strangely it turns out to be a bit of an anti-climax. Five bags of what looks like strawberry juice are produced from a large churn where they have been stored at -180C. These are then defrosted and infused into your blood stream. It takes around 45 minutes.

SIDE EFFECTS

Yesterday, the day after the transplant was a low point but today seems better. So far the main side effect has not troubled me but been an issue for Margaret. Although the patient is unaware, stem cell treatment causes you to give off an odour (its likened to the smell of sweetcorn). Not everyone likes sweetcorn and on Thursday night Margaret was forced to abandon our bed because of the stench coming from her husband!

SPACE OR SEA?

I’ve been reading Matthew’s gospel this week. Chapter 14 describes Jesus walking on the storm as he makes his way to his struggling disciples. Hollywood regards space as the region where the trouble comes from. In the Bible the sea is a picture of restless evil and chaos. It’s the realm of Leviathan. Its where 4 beasts in Daniel emerge from. The new creation is without any sea. The sight of Jesus walking on the storm is a reminder that there is someone to whom all this evil and chaos must answer.

TIME TO RECONSIDER?

When Jesus arrives at his disciples he is met by Peter requesting that he be invited to step out the boat and walk on the water. At first all goes well but then we read: But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink cried out “Lord save me!” Presumably the wind was blowing when he got out the boat. Peter’s problem was once settling in his mind that Jesus could enable him he decided he had to re-evaluate the situation. It’s a simple lesson for all of us. Once we have concluded that Jesus is the almighty Saviour who treads evil under foot, who always knows where his people are and who can come to their aid at any time it is folly to reconsider that conviction.

MOVE IN THE OTHER DIRECTION

Whatever your circumstances, ill health, financial difficulty, fears for our children, anxiety over work the lesson is don’t let these things re-evaluate your decision to follow Jesus. Rather allow them to push you in the other direction, praying, trusting, learning from the Lord Jesus Himself.

This Week

I am at what you might call the business end of my treatment. Last Friday I had a Hickman line inserted. Thursday this week signalled the start of a week of chemo and today I was connected to a pump that delivers a chemo drug twice daily for the next 4 days. It feels a little Pilgrim-esque as wherever I go my little burden goes with me. We are looking forward to parting company when the time comes. Having said that, this week has not felt like the ‘Slough of Despond’.

I got a little present of a hand knitted ‘beanie’ from my sister (baldness is approaching). God graciously provided me with a pharmacist as a wife who runs the small chemist’s shop now set up in our kitchen. Added to this is the encouragement of the prayers of many who have been in touch to convey their support. For all this I am extremely grateful.

A SHRINKING WORLD?

I am conscious that suffering has the ability to shrink your world to minute proportions. In my case coping with the threat of infection, having a successful transplant and recovering some measure of immunity promptly. The Bible casts a different light on our struggles. Here are a few examples of that.

Alastair Begg preached a sermon introducing the book of Esther is which he said: “The people of God in the Old Testament interpreted events not in terms of “my, me, and mine,” but rather in terms of “we, our, and us.” And they also didn’t do so in sort of tiny little time frames. They interpreted events generationally: “Lord, you have been our dwelling place [for] all generations.”’

The challenge of that is not to interpret my cancer diagnosis from an individual perspective. Its not just about me. Others are looking on and whilst I may never fathom the specifics of my condition the prayer is people and especially the next generation will see something of the reality of the grace of God in this little life. There is more than one way to commend the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord to those coming after us. Remembering this, fuels my prayers for my grandchildren and keeps me from being self-obsessed.

ON BEING DISTINCT

But what should people see? David Gibson preached a helpful sermon on ‘The Stilling of the Storm’ at this year’s Keswick (https://youtu.be/qLktVkrfdN0). In the course of the talk he made the distinction between the classroom and the crucible. In the school of faith Jesus has many classrooms, places where we listen to the Bible being taught. But he also has crucibles. The classroom is where you learn in comfort. The crucible is the ‘trial’ where what you say you believe is tested. David Gibson invited his listeners to ‘Feel the Comfort of His Exemplary Calm’ as they witness Jesus sleep as the storm rages. Unlike his terrified disciples he rests in the care of the all wise creator of the universe. Sometimes the decision to go to bed and sleep is more God honouring that crisis praying. Its what we see in King David surrounded by enemies and led by his power-hungry son: “I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side (Psalm 3:5,6).” Or think of Peter in Herod’s condemned cell. “The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers…. “(Acts 12:6)

WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID?

We live in a world of fear, some imaginary and some real. The so called news is a catalogue of anxiety: pandemics, wars, the cost of living, climate emergency sometimes referred to by commentators as ‘the perfect storm’. Yet in that storm lashed fishing boat Jesus asked his disciples: “Why are you so afraid?” Their problem was not the power of the wind but the smallness of their faith. Hudson Taylor the great pioneer missionary to China corresponded with William Burns on the subject of ‘how to increase faith?’ Their conclusion - not by any talking to themselves of the need to be more trusting but rather by looking to and appreciating the faithfulness of God to his promises.

How the System should Work

I was at the opticians on Monday for a check up and there were the usual questions about general health. I must be getting good at describing what is wrong with me and my on-going treatment because the optician asked if I had a medical background. It’s probably the first time anyone has asked me that question but we quite like the idea of sounding knowledgeable and knowing how the system works. Observe the popularity of jogging, the marginalising of smoking, the promotion of ‘5 a day’ the growth of Wordle, Sudoku and crosswords that all point in the same direction. Look after yourself and you can expect a long healthy happy life.

A DIFFERENT ‘TAKE’

Contrast that with the way the Bible describes our lives. It sums us up as dust. We are like a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes or like grass that flourishes in the morning but is withered and gone by evening. Ultimately it informs us we are just a breath. Without trying to big myself up I am that healthy eating, hill walking, non-smoking, one pill a day man - but who has cancer. This is not the way the system is meant to work.

MOVERS AND SHAKERS

Here is another way to think our lives. History is not short of big names who have left their mark on this world. The significant players of the 20th century are people like Hitler, Churchill, Mandela maybe Murdoch and Jobs. Scores of books are written debating their motives and assessing their legacy. But all are microscopic in their influence compared to the two figures of Adam and Christ

CONSEQUENCES

Children take it as read that they will benefit from their parent’s labours on their departure. They may not have been particularly grateful children but nevertheless their expectation is that they will inherit their wealth. Alternatively they may have behaved loyally but been left with shame and debt. The injustice of it will not allow them to escape the consequences. It’s how the system works. In a similar kind of way we know what it is to be subject to the decisions others take. Prime Ministers take their nations into war. Bosses restructure their firms and make people redundant. Fathers order their homes in a way that affects all who live there. No one gets a vote but everyone is affected. Here is the point: my cancer is a consequence of Adam’s disobedience and all of us live with the legacy of that first failure.

But there is someone else – Jesus Christ. I was reading Psalm 69 this morning. Although it’s a psalm of David and written roughly a thousand years before Jesus it accurately predicts the suffering he would experience. Imagine Jesus praying these words: ‘May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me’ (6) It reveals the way in which Jesus understood his significance. On the success or failure of his mission hung the destiny of all those who have placed their hope in God. If the covenant God fails to rescue His King then his promises are seen to fail. This is why the resurrection was so massively important for the disciples. God’s rescue of the suffering King is guarantee that he cares for those who know they are dust but have entrusted themselves to Jesus Christ.

One man in the perfection of Paradise chooses selfishly and pours disease and toil and shame and death down on all his descendants but this second man endures a terrifying ordeal and procures for others acceptance and blessing and life.

ENJOY THE BLESSING.

We live under one of these two systems. The blessing of God is mediated to us through the intercession of Jesus Christ and through us to others. I am presently on the receiving end of the prayers of many people. This week I had a call from someone I hadn’t spoken to for 14 years assuring me of his prayers. Someone I have only ever spoken to on the phone texted to let me know they are praying for me. Another person wrote telling me they pray for me every Tuesday. This a good system to live under for those of us all too conscious of the fleeting nature of our lives. Inheriting the achievements of King Jesus beats jogging and healthy eating. Enjoy the legacy of this good and great King.

How Things Look….

View the health service through the media and the picture is depressing. The waiting lists are to be measured in years not months, the staff are exhausted and demoralised and certain hospital departments are not fit for purpose. Clearly no one is going to claim the system is perfect and sadly there are situations of poor care but there is another view.

I’m almost four months into treatment. I’ve been in an out of a wide range of departments, sometime several times a week and this is what I’ve observed. We can be kept waiting. Generally though the reason for the wait is not that the doctor is on an extended tea break but taking time with a patient. I spent an hour in the consultant’s office last week as they outlined my treatment. It was a kindness to me although it had implications for the next appointment.

MORE THAN A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED

As most people will know chemo has unpleasant side effects. Every effort though is taken to minimise these, from anti-sickness medication to preventative dentistry. I had two extractions this week because of their potential to cause infection when I receive my next round. It revealed an impressive attention to detail. And in an environment where there is plenty of fear and uncertainty the staff are invariably reassuring and positive. Supportive phone calls and kindly chats come with the treatment. It becomes clear you are not simply a medical problem to be solved.

OUTSIDE HELP?

Health, be it physical or mental is probably the one area we concede our need of outside help. No such assistance is needed when it comes to everyday life. Peter, one of Jesus disciples certainly didn’t need the services of a foot washing leader. Confronted with the warning he was about to behave like a deceitful traitor he assured Jesus he would stand by him to the death. Well, we know how that turned out. Peter might have been a big fit fisherman but morally there was a problem. There was nothing wrong with his intentions sadly though there was a tragic gap between what he wanted to do and be and what he actually was.

There is no credibility gap in the life of Jesus. He delivers precisely on what he promises. He simply loves his flaky disciples, full stop, end of sentence. He knows what Peter will do but nevertheless prays for him. Risen from the grave he sends a message to his disciples telling them to meet him in Galilee. He includes Peter by name. “Tell my disciples and Peter…” He encounters Peter after a dismal night’s fishing, first providing him with breakfast and then publicly reinstating him. We are morally compromised, people who say one thing and do another. There is real help on offer. Our hope is found in Christ’s steadfast love and wise leadership. Peter sums it up: “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree….by his wounds we are healed.”

BUT WHY DO WE STILL SUFFER?

These things, be it the care for our bodies or the forgiveness for our sins testify to the goodness of God. You might be tempted to ask why we continue to suffer if God really is that loving. Why do Christians still get sick and become seriously ill?

Perhaps the greatest threat to our lives is not disease but as Peter illustrates self-confidence. Despite the fact that the Bible takes a very low view of our ‘understanding’ we can think we know what’s best. The Apostle Paul spoke of his ‘thorn in the flesh’ as being given to him to keep him from becoming conceited. Conceit, arrogance, self-importance was a threat for this great Christian. He recognised the value of his suffering that impressed on him his weakness and daily need of Gods grace. We never get beyond this.

And suffering sensitizes us to the needs of others. The Church is a body of people who are intended to weep with one another and to rejoice with one another. That will only happen if we have some insight into one another’s struggles. A doctor understands illness from one angle the patient from another. Part of the challenge for the medic is not to become emotionally involved. Effective praying and practical care arise from our personal experience of life’s tough situations. Spiritual progress can be measured in a growing list of needy people that we regularly pray for.

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