Last Word (Week ending 31st December)

As 2022 comes to a close this seems a fitting time to conclude ‘Sharp Scratch’. It also provides an opportunity for me to reflect on the year that has gone. This year my life has moved at the rhythm of the health care system. There has been the mundane week to week visits for blood tests and line care leading to other things having to be organised around these appointments. The journey, the day ward, the staff all become a part of the routine of life.

MEDICAL ROUTINES

Then there are the visits to the consultant. I have a very nice warm and friendly doctor but you are under no illusions that serious business is about to be transacted in those sessions. You are there as a seriously ill patient and she is the physician with the ‘know how’ to provide a chance of life. Her treatment plan is about to introduce difficulty and discomfort into your life but you would no more question her motives than you would trust the remedies of a ‘snake-oil’ salesman.

Treatment has been at the heart of the rhythm of this year. The 3 weekly chemo cycle and the daily radiotherapy have bookended the stem cell transplant. These are the planned therapies. An unexpected chest infection will add another layer to this, requiring further intervention and time spent as an in-patient. And low blood numbers will lead to a series of blood transfusions.

Left to myself this would become all consuming. Life regulated by the buff coloured envelope with its little window informing me of my next hospital visit. Anxiety levels rising as the next consultant appointment comes round or you head in for your next infusion of chemotherapy. Thankfully as a Christian there is another ‘melody’ that informs my life.

HEALTHY CHRISTIAN ROUTINES

The rhythm of the Christian life consists in daily engagement with the scriptures, weekly involvement in corporate worship and regular attendance at the Lord’s table. That could sound like a mundane and wearisome routine. That will only be so as I fail to see that as much as my cancer needs the NHS my spiritual sickness needs the restorative influence of the Word of God. Its in the Scriptures that we are given a glimpse of the beauty of the Lord Jesus and God begins that process of restoring his image in us. Its as we gather week by week in God’s field hospital ‘the church’ that fellow sufferers are able to encourage one another. When it comes to ‘disease’ there are two kinds of knowledge, that of the doctor who knows it by study and that of the patient who knows it by experience. Gathering as a church of patients gives us the opportunity to ‘comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received from God’.

Perhaps the most common malady among us is to rest our security on spiritual duties or Christian service. In our heads we acknowledge Christ to be our Saviour but in practice we look to ourselves and our ‘performance’ We don’t really believe we are loved unconditionally and forgiven totally. I need the medicine of the Lord’s Supper to refocus my attention on the Lord’s covenant keeping love and his perfect sacrifice for my sin. The Supper is given to us that sin sick Christians may find a more stable place to stand than trying to earn God’s forgiveness.

THE GOOD DOCTOR.

Alongside this regular week to week pattern, our lives also experience setbacks, disappointments, opposition or disease. The Bible leaves us in no doubt that God stands behind those things. This is also part of the rhythm of the Christian life. John Newton distilled this side of life into two simple statements: “Everything is needful that he sends, nothing can be needful that he withholds” All of the sending and withholding in our lives is managed by God for our ultimate flourishing. If I trust my consultant and her debilitating regime how much more I ought to trust God. Commenting on Newton’s word Tim Keller said “the premise is the things that really hurt you and kill you are foolishness, pride, selfishness, hardness of heart, denial of your flaws and weaknesses and the belief that you don’t need God. …. Any bad thing (the trials of this world) God will send in only to cure you of the things that can really destroy you in the long run.” Happily there is a lot of spiritual restoration going on when our lives maybe full of unwelcome visitors.

THANK YOU.

Thank you to those of you who have read this blog over the past year and a special thanks to those of you who have prayed for me. The Lord has graciously answered many of those prayers.

Keeping it Simple (Week ending 24th Dec)

This week I’ve had to head back to the hospital for a blood transfusion. My bone marrow is proving slow to recover from my treatment and consequently my energy levels are low. It means I am very aware that my strength is limited and I have to make choices. This evening we are hoping to go to a concert at St Giles so most of today has been spent at my desk. There is a lot going on for most of us at this time of year. Life can seem like a contest to keep all the plates spinning. Whether you are like me or ‘fully fit’ it’s a healthy exercise to consider what is shaping your choices.

I mentioned last week I had been reading ‘Newton on the Christian Life’ by Tony Reinke. He has a chapter on Gospel Simplicity. Newton contends that sin introduced complexity, disorder and misery into God’s good creation. Reinke comments, “By definition, sin is the disordering of what was once beautiful and harmonious. Individually we were created to serve God, but sin confused everything, tangling our hearts with pride, false idols, false securities and false saviours all knotted together in one disordered mess that we can’t free ourselves from”. In other words it introduces questions like, ‘how is this going to make me look in other people’s eyes?’ or it promotes fretting about how well off undeserving people are. It has people in faithful though difficult marriages wrestling over an exist strategy.

THE BIBLE’S APPROACH TO SIMPLICITY

It is the word of God that enables us to cut through the confusion. In the second temptation the devil offers Jesus a deal. Worship me and I’ll give you all the splendour and authority of the kingdoms of this world. Satan claims this world has been given to him and he has the right to do this. Well, does he or doesn’t he? Its striking that Jesus does not engage with any of those questions. He turns down the chance to debate with the devil and instead answers with straightforward simplicity, “It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve him only” (Deut 6:3)

“The true simplicity, which is the honour and strength of the believer” writes Newton, “is the effect of a spiritual perception of the truths of the Gospel. It arises from and bears proportion to, the sense we have of our own unworthiness, the power and grace of Christ and the greatness of our obligation to him. So far as our knowledge of these things is vital and experimental it will make us simple-hearted”

FIRST THINGS FIRST.

This time of year can be stressful and exhausting. On the one hand it holds potential for much good: contact with neighbours we rarely see, the chance to show our appreciation for past kindness, the opportunity to gather as families. But times of legitimate busyness come with dangers. Luke records the events at the home of Mary and Martha in Bethany. There is nothing sinful about wanting to provide hospitality nor about working hard to give people an enjoyable meal. Martha though is described as becoming ‘distracted’. The desire to serve Jesus has become tainted with a sense she is not being properly appreciated. And this sense of injustice is stoked by her sister’s inactivity. “Lord don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?” (Luke 10:40) Jesus calls this distracted hostess back to simplicity. “Martha, Martha you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed or indeed only one” (Luke 10:41) I suspect that if we are to learn to live simply it will begin with us emulating Mary ‘who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. (Luke 10:39)

What Has Got Your Attention? (week ending 17th Dec)

On Monday I had a visit to the consultant to get the results of the recent scans. Friday sees me back in ward 7 for blood tests to establish how my bone marrow is recovering and on Wednesday I completed 3 weeks of radiotherapy. Significant illness can pre-occupy you with a series of questions and anxieties. What will the scans show? Is my tiredness a result of the radiotherapy or because my bone marrow is not responding? What’s the state of play with my kidneys? In short, am I getting better?

I read something this week, written by John Newton, the one-time slave trader who became a Christian pastor in 18th century England. Newton was commenting on the incident in the wilderness when the grumbling Israelites were afflicted by poisonous snakes but healed through looking to a bronze serpent raised on a pole. “We find a cure” reasoned Newton, “when we take our attention off the bite wounds of our own sin maladies and stop comparing our bites to the wounds of others but look to God’s provision.” What Newton said about ‘sin maladies’ could equally be applied to physical disease. I don’t resolve my fears by reflecting on my symptoms or even by the words of the professionals.

BEWARE THE 0.1%

Although Monday’s visit to the consultant was positive and the tests showed that problems were being resolved, words are chosen carefully and doors are left open. I recall my last experience of lymphoma in 2018 when having gone 2 years cancer free I was told I was 99.9% to be in the clear. My subsequent relapse confirmed that even the most sincere and experienced professional cannot allay all our fears. Newton is right we need to direct our attention to a different place if we want a sense of ultimate security.

ROCK SOLID SECURITY – REALLY?

This week I’ve been reading Luke’s account of the birth of Jesus and noting the connection he makes with David, the king who ruled Israel a thousand years previously. Joseph is a descendant of David, Bethlehem is David’s town, Mary is informed that God will give his Son the throne of his father David. David’s significance comes not from his giant killing exploits but as the king God made a promise to. “I will raise up your offspring to succeed you … and I will establish his kingdom. I will establish the throne of his kingdom for ever” (2 Samuel 7:12,13) This is a kingdom which according to Zechariah will provide, “salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us” (Luke 1:71) In other words this will be an enduring Kingdom where its subjects will be delivered from all their enemies, a place of absolute and ultimate safety.

WHATEVER THE COST.

Newton would direct me away from myself and my ‘maladies’ and urge me to focus my attention on the child in the manger. The birth of Jesus signals the determination of God to keep his promise to David. We live in a world of broken promises and not all fail because of insincerity. Some promises just turn out to be too costly to keep. Read on in the gospels and observe the voluntary poverty, the violent opposition and the degrading death of Gods King and draw the conclusion that even if it means God shedding his blood he will not break his promise. The claim is that the rule of this King provides the place of ultimate safety from all our enemies. In the end we are faced with a simple choice. Am I going to believe the promises of the world: that money, family, approval will bring security or am I going to believe the promises of God?

WAITING IN HOPE

Hospitals make you do a lot of waiting. Sometimes that waiting ends in disappointment. Things don’t turn out the way you hoped. More treatment is required. You need to be admitted. And there is no final secure destination. God makes his people do a lot of waiting. A thousand years from David to Jesus, thirty years before the Messiah starts his mission and now an indeterminate time until the promised King returns. It is the arrival, ministry and subsequent suffering of Christ that confirms God means to keep his promise to David. We may be a waiting people but we do so as those who have solid substantial hope.

In a world full of hopelessness, seen in the reckless lifestyles (alcohol, tobacco, food) the destructive self-medicating and the prevalence of suicide we want to be beacons of hope. As people pursue life in comfort and health, witness the joggers and bikers, we want to be people who live happily submitted to the King’s rule, in circumstances that may include serious illness. We do that knowing we are citizens of his enduring kingdom, a kingdom that not even death can evict us from.

Risk Assessment (Week ending 9th Dec)

I had a conversation with my consultant some months ago about the wisdom of mixing with crowds. Due to my compromised immune system she suggested I wait until I received my Covid 19 and flu vaccination. She then added, “It really depends on what level of risk you are prepared to accept.” Having received my jabs for Covid and flu a fortnight ago I am looking forward to being in church on Sunday.

The question is sometimes posed ‘Do you have to go to church to be a Christian?’ The answer to that is self-evidently ‘no’. Many Christians because of persecution or illness are prevented from attending a place of worship. Technology is a blessing. I have connected with our service through Zoom for the past few months but there is a difference between watching a service and worshipping God. My question is this: If you have the choice is it risky to skip Sunday worship for a visit to ‘granny’s’? Is the local church part of Gods ‘defence system’ for his weak and vulnerable people or is it optional?

A DEADLY THREAT OR NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?

In his letter at the end of the New Testament Peter uses the familiar picture of the church as a flock of sheep overseen by faithful shepherds. He addresses the elders, “…be shepherds of Gods flock that is under your care, watching over them.” (1 Peter 5::2) He goes on to introduce the Christian’s enemy as a roaring lion. “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him standing firm in the faith…” (1 Peter 5:8) On the face of it, it’s a pretty unequal fight: king of the jungle v defenceless sheep. Unless of course those sheep have shepherds whose job it is to protect them.

Satan’s target is our faith, it is to call into question God’s goodness and trustworthiness. His strategy is to isolate and cut the Lord’s people off from the care of others. He does that overtly. Think of the regimes around the world that forbid Christians to meet together. He also works seductively.

Albert Mohler hosts a daily broadcast called ‘The Briefing’ In a recent episode he commented on the Webster’s dictionary word of 2022. Apparently its ‘gas lighting’ the process of persuading someone that their view of reality is defective. Their ability to think straight has been corrupted and they are in fact mentally ill. Its little surprise to find this word so prevalent in a world full of conspiracy theories. How do you know what to believe? Are we in danger of being ‘gas lit’ by those who warn of impending doom? Clearly everything they say is not wrong. The German government this week intervened to prevent a coup d’état.

FAITH’S PROTECTION

The local church, led and overseen by faithful elders, is our means of protection in a world of lies and half truths designed to destroy our faith. Sunday by Sunday our elders direct us to sing the great truths of our faith, some of which are new but many of which show us that Christians have been believing these things for centuries. They lead us into the presence of God turning our thoughts from ourselves and helping us to see the richness of the salvation won for us. The writer to the Hebrews urges his readers, “Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but encourage one another…” (Hebrews 10:25) Our ‘turning up’ encourages others. We put ourselves in a position where we can receive support and care from our brothers and sisters. And as we listen to our pastor preach, God has the ability to answer our doubts, explain the difficult things and clarify our vision of spiritual reality. In other words we are enabled to stand firm in a culture of competing ‘stories’.

It needs to be said God is able to preserve his people in the most isolated of circumstances. But if we have opportunity to meet together its risky to venture out on another week without the sustaining grace provided in Sunday worship. I’m looking forward to being back in church this Sunday.

Choices. (Week ending 3rd December)

Two men looked out through prison bars One saw mud the other stars.

Life is about choices and in a fallen world there will always be plenty of ‘mess’ to comment on. Paul’s letter to the Christians in Rome begins by defining the unbelieving world as those who ‘neither glorify God nor give him thanks’ (1:21). It ends with a long list of people Paul is deeply grateful for. Thanksgiving is a major characteristic of the Christian life but often it requires us to make choices over what we are going to focus on. Here is my week.

HUMAN FAILINGS OR GOD’S TIMING?

On Friday I was to have a vaccination, go for a scan, attend for my second radiotherapy session and get my blood checked. Without going into details the scan didn’t go well. What was meant to last half an hour took an hour and a half and by the time it was finished I had a series of bruises from failed attempts to insert a canula. It meant I was an hour late for my appointment at the Western. However, on arriving the radiographers showed no disapproval, assured me they understood people get held up and fitted me in almost immediately. That morning I had received my Covid vaccination. For someone with a compromised immune system, being given the vaccine enables me to engage more safely with a wider group of people. At one stage I thought the best I could hope for would be a letter giving me an appointment weeks away. In fact I got a phone call telling me they were coming to my home to deliver the jab in 2 days! In a day of mixed outcomes there was much to give thanks for.

THANK GOD FOR THE AMERICANS

On Saturday we met as an extended family for a ‘Thanksgiving Meal’ (Christmas without the stress for which we have the Americans to thank) There were 8 adults and 5 children. We sat round a table, ate some great food and everyone shared one thing they were thankful to God for. What a great way to spend an evening together.

THANK GOD FOR HIS MERCY

Sunday was a baptismal service at church. Josh a young man from Gracemount and Marion, a lady who has lots of grandchildren and is also from this area were baptised. As has been the case for the last 4 months I was restricted to watching these events on Zoom. It was not difficult to feel an outsider on this whole event. Yet what was happening was truly wonderful. GCC has baptised 6 people over the last 2 years who are all ‘first generation’ Christians and all from ‘the scheme’. Josh is particularly significant being the ‘firstfruit’ of largely Sarah Prime and her brother Andrew’s investment in Gracemount’s young people over many years. We are praying that there will be a harvest of many more young people who have come to ‘Street Team’ and ‘Friday Drop in’ or just spent time with people from church.

SURPRISING KINDNESS

Monday saw me back at the hospital. Because the repeated question whenever you receive treatment is ‘confirm your name and date of birth’ the radiographers recognised it was my birthday. Before I left they produced a hastily manufactured birthday card and a large box of Quality Street! It was a lovely moment of human kindness in what can be a pretty impersonal process.

That afternoon I met with Allan for our regular 1-2-1. Allan is one of the 6 who was baptised, in his case about a year ago. Since becoming a Christian he has married his long term partner and transitioned from ‘benefits’ to the world of work. He is part of the Retrain project and handles the catering at ‘The Wee Café’. There was a time not so long ago when church was the last place Allan would have been interested in. And here we were reading 1 Peter together. What a privilege to have a share in God’s mission.

THE REAR VIEW.

Its easy to simply go through life moving onto the next thing or getting through our ‘things to do’ list. My guess is, if I didn’t have a blog to write I might have failed to appreciate how much I have to give thanks for at the end of this week. Good driving requires you to pay attention to the rear view mirror. Grateful people are those who take time to review what God is up to in their lives.

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